They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
