We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
