So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
