You're earring is so big in my mouth
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
