if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
What a dumb baby whore.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
