Porn is love you can see.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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