did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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