I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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