I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
