I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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