What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
