Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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