If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
