Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize