I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
