There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The feeling are messing with the penis
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Randomize
