I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
