And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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