you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
