I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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