Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize