They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
