White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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