Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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