He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
