bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
