My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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