he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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