Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
