How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
