I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
not ubering you a puppy
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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