Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
