So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
