i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
