idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you will always have a special place in my vag
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
