Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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