Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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