Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
