I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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