He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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