I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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