I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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