I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
