hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
