like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
