i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
