I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
