The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize