The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
