Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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