i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
