help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
