..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize