just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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