Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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