no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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