Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Help me help you realize you are a moron
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
