no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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