i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
