I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize