it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
