absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
