did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
