Nicole vs. Life
Can Purell be used as lube?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
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