i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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