just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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