Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
