I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
