Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
should my penis look like a turkey
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize