pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
