We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
3 2 1 whiskey
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
