You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
not ubering you a puppy
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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