We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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