I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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