you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
