Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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