I hope mine doesn't look like that
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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