How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
